Most women don’t wake up one day and decide to defend abusers. It’s subtler than that. It starts with what we’re taught to value: Be nice. Be likable. Don’t cause trouble. Don't be that woman. Be grateful for opportunities. Protect your mentor’s reputation. Play the game. And it starts early—sometimes in music school, sometimes in church, sometimes around the dinner table. We learn, little by little, that proximity to male power offers protection.

I’ve watched the Coalition of Musicians for Ethical Change (CMEC) remain silent, deflect, and align with those protecting power over people. I once offered my support to CMEC. I can no longer do so in good conscience.

I’m in the trenches of social media this week engaging directly with influential figures in horn playing—on Facebook timelines and comment threads—where critical issues of discrimination, competition bias, and gender equity are often dismissed or distorted.